Moving Forward with Trust and Hope

Tonight was the first RUF Large Group of the semester, a night that I've been looking forward to since the last Large Group meeting, all the way back in May. However, this night was much different from the meetings I attended last year -- other than the fact that I'm now a sophomore, the seniors are gone, and there are small crowds of freshmen everywhere. I walked down the familiar steps to Dudley B6 tonight (a little wobbly, still in the straight leg brace), joyous at the occasion but apprehensive, not sure what to expect from the first large group at Auburn that any of us has known without a campus minister.

Let's backtrack a bit to enlighten you on my viewpoint coming into this. Two years ago, I was a high school senior freaked out because I had no clue where to go to college. I didn't know what God's plan was for me, I thought I had to figure it out (not exactly correct). I was the new principal violist of the Huntsville Youth Symphony, and on top of trying to figure out where to go, I was trying to figure out what role my love of music would play once I got to college. I was lost.

Two months later, while enjoying fall break at the beach, I got an email from my viola teacher, informing all of her students that she was moving in December. What was I supposed to do? Why was this happening? I'm supposed to give a senior recital, but there's no senior recital and no All-State Orchestra if there's no teacher! Those were just a few of the panic attacks I had. However, God had a plan. Despite my original thoughts as I read that email, neither he nor my teacher had abandoned me. She graciously offered to teach me via Skype through the end of my senior year, because she knew I didn't have time to find a new teacher. And I am so thankful for the time that God gave me with her, because she lifted me up and encouraged me in the Lord in ways neither she nor I fully understands.

Anyways, a few months later, in January, as I've finally decided that Auburn is the place for me to be (best decision EVER!), my senior class finds out that our headmaster, who was with us since we started  high school, challenged us on our senior retreat to leave a legacy behind us at our school, was no longer our headmaster. It took us all by extreme surprise and left us wounded as we didn't understand what was going on and kept hearing all sorts of things from all sorts of people. Once again, I was angry with everyone around me and I didn't understand what God was doing. We were almost done with senior year! But once again, God had a plan. I'm not sure exactly what it was yet, but I do feel stronger since the experience, and perhaps his plan was to prep me for the next two obstacles I would face in the following year.

At the end of senior year, our beloved youth pastor and his wife stood up in front of the congregation and announced that they had accepted a call to pastor a church in Mississippi. Tears flowed freely for the next few hours and occasionally in the weeks and months to come. It was easier for me, as I was already moving out of Huntsville, and as I had expected it in the back of my mind for a while, but still, seemingly losing the man who had shepherded me throughout some of the toughest years of my life so far (high school - it's rough, man), and a woman who had become one of my dearest and most treasured friends during my tumultuous senior year was no cake walk. I was caught between being overjoyed for my friends at finding where they knew they needed to be and where I knew they needed to be, and being devastated at not knowing when I would see them again and watching my sister, still with two more years of high school, and knowing what I would feel in her place. And of course, at night my heart would attack me with "Why, God? Why now? Why are you taking everyone away from me?" Yet God is still sovereign. James 2:1-4 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And steadfastness must have its full effect, that you may become perfect and complete, lacking nothing." (My life verse, since I was a freshman in high school.) The removal of that cherished family was not the end of the world, but an opportunity to grow in my faith. An opportunity for me to check how much I depended on figures around me rather than on God. And it was a trial that has prepared me -- now that I reflect on it, I reacted much better to the news this go around -- for the transitioning period in RUF as we move from one campus minister to another. God is doing great things for us!

Romans 8:28 says this: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." And because I can't put it any better, here is what the ESV Study Bible says about this verse:

               God weaves everything together for good for his children. The "good" in this context does not refer to earthly comfort but conformity to Christ (v. 29), closer fellowship with God, bearing good fruit for the kingdom, and final glorification (v. 30).

Tonight, Les Newsom said to the freshman that THIS is the time to be getting involved with RUF. Of all the semesters of all the years, this is one of the best times to get involved. I'm not sure exactly what he meant by that, but here is my take on it. (And because I've only been in RUF one year, if anything I say is incorrect or unjustified, please talk to me and I will edit this post. This is just what I think at this current moment based on my acquired observations and time spent here.) For one, a change in leadership and even a lack of a campus minister does not mean that God has forgotten about us. To me, it shows that he is working in us. I see the not having a campus minister to be uniting those who come to RUF and awakening them to what they can do on this campus, in Auburn, AL. We are still a body of believers, a body of sinners, a body of people who don't have it all figured out, and who want to help each other figure it out. It took a month or more of RUF for me to really feel welcomed and included, (not from a lack of people reaching out to me, understand?), but I see people who I'm not sure normally would be, getting excited about meeting freshmen and trying to make sure they are included and feel welcomed. Freshmen, you have this opportunity to be a part of a community that is changing and growing, meeting an unexpected hiccup TOGETHER. Last year Richard emphasized so much the importance of a community of Christ and having that community here, and I see it coming into shape more than I saw it last year. 

Verse 29 of Romans 8 says "For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brethren." (emphasis mine) Learn Christ! As Les Newsom said tonight from Ephesians, come to RUF this semester and LEARN CHRIST!! Not just learn about Christ, but learn Christ. These trials are part of our sanctification. Everything works for our good, to conform us to the image of our holy Savior. It's hard to see as we balance on a brink of uncertainty, but God is at work. I have so much hope for what He is going to do over the next few years. And so I challenge you to come out to Dudley B6 every Monday at 8, and learn Christ.

I'm NOT Talking to the Ceiling

Since September, I've been attending First Presbyterian Church in Opelika. Reverend Scott Bowen has been preaching on Revelation since August, and it has been phenomenal. I've heard the Letters to the Churches preached through, and gone through Revelation twice in Bible studies. However, Rev. Scott somehow makes everything so much clearer, using simple words to get across theologically deep and mind-boggling realities. Anyways, today he preached on Revelation 8:2-9:21, six of the seven trumpets. In trying to get across the amazing picture that was presented to me today, I'm going to try to put it in three points that build upon each other.

1) God responds to the prayers of the saints.

The opening verses of Chapter 8 describe the prayers of the saints rising before God, and the immediate response is "then the angel took the censer and filled it with fire from the altar and threw it on the earth, and there were peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning, and an earthquake." The picture presented is of God responding to the prayers of the saints with obvious images of power and authority. Why? Because God know how much we doubt that He hears our prayers.

2) God responds with power and presence.

Following the opening verses come the first six trumpets. There is a lot to learn from this about the majesty of God. The trumpets should be thought of like the plagues, a response from God to the prayers of his people in the form of natural disasters, basically. God controls all natural disasters and uses them for a specific purpose. Why trumpets? Think back to the Old Testament and to the first chapter of Revelation. Trumpets announce the presence of God. Even if it is a natural disaster. It is God. The blast of a trumpet, a tornado, a hurricane, a flood, announces the presence of a holy God, bigger than our idols, bigger than our president, bigger than everything we put before God. We as the saints are marked by the seal, and so will not be touched by the forces of evil and darkness that God has let into the world. The locusts in Revelation 9 remind us of Joel, and we know that the locusts come to consume everything we hold onto, they come to consume the gladness of men. 

Finally, 3) I am NOT talking to the ceiling.

Think about all this! The power and majesty of God! We are NOT talking to the ceiling, we are talking to the sovereign God, the one who controls the horses! The one who announces His presence as we lose sight of Him and turn to earthly idols. When we pray, this is who we are speaking to. When we ask anything, this is the power that lies in the one who listens to His people. My prayer life is not always the best. Right now, it's pretty bad. This, however, is helping me to think about it in the way I should have already been thinking about it; approaching the throne of the Most High God, who responds with awesome power to the prayers of the saints.

Praise be to God! And thank you Reverend Bowen for helping me to better understand the Word of God as revealed to His saints!

Finding Peace

Let's be honest. Yesterday did not turn out like many of us wanted it to. How can we afford another four years? What's going to happen? How on earth could our President get reelected after four years of failing? What is my future going to look like now? Is liberty dying? These are just a few of the questions running through our minds. I'm not going to deny that I'm scared. That I'm struggling not to picture the worst possible future as a result of this election.
However, this as Christians who believe in the sovereignty of God, this is no way to think or act. Romans 13:1-7 (which I'm sure many of you, like me, have read many times since last night) says:

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. ² Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. ³ For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, ⁴ for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. ⁵ Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. ⁶ For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. ⁷ Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

President Obama is president of the United States because God determined it. President Obama is God's servant, elected by God to carry out God's plan for our country, whether we like it or not. This is not a time to complain, but a time to pray. To pray as we should have been doing and as we should continue to do. To pray for our country and our leaders, especially our president. To pray that we would not become angry towards God, but turn to him even more and trust in his sovereignty. It is a time to pray, but also to act. Keep fighting for what you believe in! Fight for the widow, defend the fatherless. Join a campaign, do what you can for your country. Stand up and fight for what you believe in! We still have freedom of speech and religion. Thank God that we can go to church every Sunday without fear of persecution! Do not give up, do not lose hope. Our God is an awesome God, who reigns over heaven and earth. He is in control of the horses! (Revelation 6) Keep living your life to the glory of God on high, praying as he has taught us in his word. 

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory. Amen.

Find peace in the sovereignty of God.

"Remember this and stand firm,

recall it to mind, you transgressors,

remember the former things of old,

for I am God, and there is no other;

I am God, and there is none like me,

declaring the end from the beginning

and from ancient times things not yet done,

saying, 'My counsel shall stand,

and I will accomplish all my purpose,'

calling a bird of prey from the east,

the man of my counsel from a far country.

I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass;

I have purposed, and I will do it."- Isaiah 46:8-11

The Picture that Keeps Getting Bigger and Better!

One of the things that I love most about the music at RUF is the use of rich hymn texts. Texts like one of the hymns we sang tonight, "For All the Saints." This is a hymn that never really stood out to me before, probably because I never got to actually sing it in church due to playing an instrument. However, tonight I realized how beautiful and deep these words are! As you read through the lyrics, notice how the picture just keeps getting bigger and more glorious. I basically haven't been able to stop singing this since I left large group tonight. Such an amazing hymn! Glory to God!

For all the saints, who from their labors rest,
Who thee by faith before the world confessed,
Thy name, O Jesus be forever blessed.
Alleluia, Allelu...

The picture of the church as a whole, the believers, the saints, is introduced in the first line of the hymn.

Thou wast their rock, their fortress and their might;
Thou, Lord, their captain in the well fought fight;
Thou, in the darkness drear, their one true Light.
Alleluia, Allelu...

Image of God as our rock and fortress. In this verse and the next two, the church militant comes into view, beginning where it should with the description of Jesus as the captain of the saints, our fortress and light.

O may thy soldiers, faithful true, and bold,
Fight as the saints who nobly fought of old,
And win with them the victor's crown of gold.
Alleluia, Allelu...

Image of an army. The saints are an army marked by God with his seal, engaged in a spiritual battle with Jesus as our captain. It is a war that we already know is won for us, yet we faithfully fight.

The golden evening brightens in the west;
Soon, soon to faithful warriors comes their rest;
Sweet is the calm of paradise the blessed.
Alleluia, Allelu...

This verse and the next two are where I get extremely teary-eyed! The idea and assurance that the saints, the believers, the blessed, will receive our rest and paradise. Image of the end times, I believe. The golden evening brightening but not here yet, soon to the saints comes their rest.

But lo! There breaks a yet more glorious day;
The saints triumphant rise in bright array;
The King of glory passes on his way, 
Alleluia, Allelu...

What an amazing picture! The second coming of our King of glory, the saints rising triumphant, what a incredible and encouraging image!

From earth's wide bounds, from ocean's farthest coast,
Through gates of pearl streams in the countless host,
Singing to Father, Son and Holy Ghost, 
Alleluia, Alleluia!

Image of our finally coming home to eternity. What an awesome picture of indescribable glory to God!

Sorry, this wasn't the best writing. I'm a little sleepy. Anyways, one thing that also really stood out to me as I read back over every verse was that I could think of multiple biblical references for each verse, from both testaments. All these images are taken directly from the Scriptures. Especially since at First Pres, Rev. Bowen is preaching through Revelation, everything is in pictures to me!

Never Lose the Wonder of the Gospel!

As a senior gift, my amazingly wonderful, talented, and influential viola teacher gave me the book Disciplines of a Godly Woman, by Barbara Hughes. She told me that it was really helpful to her in college, so I placed it with the small percentage of my books that I was going to be able to bring with me down to Auburn. For some reason, it caught my attention this week, and so I took it off the shelf and began reading it. The second chapter is entitled “Discipline of the Gospel,” and lo and behold, every sentence echoed the call that I have been hearing that I really need to know the Word of God by reading it, and by the knowledge of the Scriptures, so much else follows. Read this excerpt by Barbara Hughes (emphasis mine):

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is unrelenting in seeking to convert every area of our hearts and lives. The Gospel is all-encompassing. It is in fact the only source of godliness. Seek anywhere else, and you have nothing more than self-reform at best and idolatry at its worst.

Wow. Talk about conviction, this is a straight knife to the heart. How often do I seek to reform myself according to how moral I think I should be instead of going to the gospel? How often do I dismiss what the Gospel truly offers? In doing that, I am just worshipping myself, and my ability to make the “ideal me” in my head and carry it out. Yet, the Gospel is the only source of godliness. Here are some more convicting excerpts from Disciplines of a Godly Woman.

            …the Gospel shapes everything about you…As women who understand and embrace the Gospel, we find God’s Word so dynamic that it at once defines us, satisfies us, and motivates us.

            …The Scriptures who us where we fit into God’s plan for the world and detail what we are to do with our lives…

            …remember that the Gospel is the foundation for every single thing you are and do.

I just wanted to share these quotes with you because they were so convicting and really clenched the conviction that I had gradually been becoming aware of through multiple sermons and small group meetings. Finally, I come to what I wanted to talk about in the first place! At the end of the chapter, Barbara points out something that should convict us all.

            Never lose the wonder of the Gospel!

She tells the story of a new believing woman who came to a small group study and was ecstatic about an amazing verse she just found, and read it aloud slowly to the group. The verse was John 3:16. Here, read and listen in your mind to what it must have sounded like when she read it like this:

            “For God…so loved…the world…that He…gave…His one…and only…Son…that whoever…believes…in Him…shall not perish…but have eternal life.”

In case you didn’t get it the first time, here it is again, in a slightly different form.

            “For God.

            So loved.

            The world.

            That He.

            Gave.

            His one.

            And only.

            Son.

            That whoever.

            Believes.

            In Him.

            Shall

Not.

Perish.

            But have.

            Eternal.

            Life.”

Do you get it now? How does it normally sound when those of us, raised in the Church, who can’t remember a time when we didn’t have this verse memorized by heart, spout it off? Something a little like this:

  “ForGodsolovedtheworldthatHegaveHisoneandonlySonthatwhoeverbelievesinhimshallnotpersishbuthaveeternallife.”

We forget the beauty of what it is saying! We lose the wonder of the Gospel!

Last night, after reading this chapter, I went on to do my scripture reading. I just started Ephesians, and spent a long time on just the third and fourth verses of chapter one. Verses that I’ve heard all the time growing up, and tend to go right in one ear and out the other.

            “³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, ⁴ even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.”

Now, read that again, like you were reading it for the first time (unless, of course, you were reading it for the first time). Is the weight of what is being stated in this passage weighing down on your heart? How do we read right over passages like this? BLESSED in CHRIST with EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING in the HEAVENLY PLACES, by the one and only GOD and FATHER of our Lord Jesus Christ! As He CHOSE US in HIM BEFORE the FOUNDATION of the WORLD! That WE should be HOLY and BLAMELESS before HIM!

How do we lose that wonder? Or maybe it’s just me, tell me if that’s the case. But I don’t think it is. 

The Truth, an Update, and a Sting

Ok. So here it is. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH THIS BLOG LIKE I SAY I WILL. There, I said it. Yep, don't expect me to be incredibly consistent. Instead, I'm going to focus on when I, a college student, do find the time to write, making sure it is a post with good writing. Please consider this as an exception to that rule.
So, how about a short update on my life before I dive into the deep stuff? I successfully graduated high school (yay!) and am now a Freshman at Auburn University. This summer, I went to Kyiv, Ukraine for the second time. I am planning to go a third and am even starting to think of something a bit longer than two weeks, so please pray for me as I approach the Lord about that. As far as college goes, I love it. Waaaaay better than high school. I miss my family, but God has blessed me with great new friends through RUF, a roommate who has become one of my closest friends, and a church that I feel is challenging me in ways I need to be challenged, as well as fostering a sense of community in this deer-in-the-headlights freshman.
It truly is amazing how much God has blessed me since arriving here in Auburn. After Camp War Eagle (orientation), I felt very conflicted and unsure about my decision to attend Auburn University. Registration was rough and I didn't meet anyone else in my major, and believe me, I met A LOT of people. In just the first week, though me and the girl I share a bathroom with began to become great friends, and through her I met other people who are a lot like my friends from high school and so easy to get along with. Then, a couple weeks later, after still feeling a little alone, RUF started. For those of you who don't know, RUF stands for Reformed University Fellowship. It's the college ministry of the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America), but don't think that you have to be reformed to go. Just go, and someone will talk to you and make you feel welcome, and help you understand who we are and why we do what we do and believe what we do. Slowly but surely, I have developed a great group of friends from RUF. I've met people in RUF who are in my major (History), and older than me so able to give me advice. I've even met a graduate student who is studying what I want to, which is archival work! A group of older students have sort of taken me under their wing and were the ones who first made me feel welcome in RUF when I was feeling really separated at first. I am so thankful for them and how they have reached out to me! God placed me in a small group with a great mix of older and younger, boys and girls, discussing the Church, and it has really made me think about the Church and its purpose and value, something I hadn't really put much thought into before. In high school, I didn't really have many girlfriends, other than my best friends I didn't really get along with other girls. Here, I've already made good girlfriends, and have a support group better than anything I've ever had.
I'm sorry, I didn't intend for this to go on so long. One last blessing! It is so evident how God has been using basically everything he has placed in my life since arriving here to challenge me to take my faith more seriously. In church, in RUF large group, in RUF small group, in Freshman Fellowship, in the books I'm reading, in the conversations of the new friends I've made, God has been pointing out to me a lack of taking seriously the call to read His Word and know His Word and how He has revealed Himself in His Word. So a lot of what I'll be posting in the coming days/weeks will be related to how he is pushing me in that area.
Okay, one last thing...so for those of you who know me well, you know that strange things happen to me that don't normally happen to other people. Like the fact that I am a magnet for all flying objects, no matter where they are aimed or how far away I am from them. Well, today, the second coldest day of the semester (so far, and the coldest was yesterday), when it was 50 degrees or less outside, I got stung by a bee. A yellow jacket, to be precise. I walked into World Lit from the ridiculously cold and strong wind, took off my jacket, grabbed it by the collar to put on the back of my chair, and immediately felt a sharp numbing/stinging pain on the middle finger of my right hand. I dropped my jacket, thinking I had just been shocked, and looked down at my hand while shaking it, realizing in a panic that there was something on my hand. I flung the offending yellow jacket on the ground and stomped on it madly. All the while with headphones in, blasting Mumford & Sons, in front of my Lit class. It was really great. I got excused from class (by the way, on the one day of the semester when we actually weren't going to do anything, we were going to watch a movie), and went to the Foy Desk in the Student Center. Which, if you don't know anything about the Foy tradition, you're supposed to be able to ask them any question and they're supposed to be able to find you the answer. The RIGHT answer. I asked the girl working what I could do on campus about a bee sting. I thought she might tell me to put mustard on it, or tell me about a drug I could buy in the C-Store, but she told me to go to the med clinic. AND THEN GAVE ME WRONG DIRECTIONS TO THE MED CLINIC. So I walked around one area of campus for about forty minutes before finding the med clinic, and then being told that I wasn't having an allergic reaction and I could wait an hour and a half for an appointment. No thank you. So I walked outside, broke down for the second time (I started crying after the twenty-five minute walk to where the chick told me to go brought me no where), and called my parents. They gave me good advice (thank you), and then I started the long trek back across campus. Remember all this time that my fingers are throbbing. Because as my wonderful mother explained, your fingers are sympathetic, meaning that pain in one means pain in all the others, basically. So yeah I had a wonderful afternoon. Mustard helps bee stings, by the way. Oh, and since I now have a band-aid on the top of my middle finger and it's still throbbing, whenever I pick something up with my right hand I feel like I'm flicking people off. I'm not complaining, I promise, I find it all rather funny (now). Actually, this morning I had been dreading going to orchestra rehearsal because I really needed to study and yet I also really needed to practice. So I guess this is God's way of getting me out of rehearsal with a friendly painful reminder that I wouldn't dread rehearsal so much if I would just get of the couch and go practice.
Anyways, I'm sorry this was so long and so poorly written and I'm sorry it's been so long since I last posted. I'm not making any promises about future posts though! Just so I don't let anyone down. :)
God bless!
-Colossians 3:12-17

Do you see what I see?

During my put-off-homework-and-studying-because-I-am-lazy browsing of YouTube, I happened across this video. Entitled "Best USA National Anthem Ever," it caught my eye, and I definitely benefited from watching it. Before you read this post, I suggest you watch it here.
As many who watched the video commented, you may also be thinking "Lauren, that wasn't that great. Sure, it was pretty good, but Whitney Houston's National Anthem was incredibly powerful, (watch here) and there are so many other great singers that have performed amazingly." One responding to those comments on YouTube expressed my exact sentiments. This rendition of our nation's anthem is the best because those singing it are not trying to draw attention to themselves. The choirs represent all branches of our nation's military, and they are singing the anthem with respect and reverence for our country, which is the song's purpose. They present it straightforwardly, not taking the chance to show off their vocal talents like so many artists do when given the chance to sing the Star-Spangled Banner. In my opinion, who better to sing our anthem, describing the "land of the free and the home of the brave," than those brave people serving or preparing to serve in our Armed Forces? Those very brave people who fight to defend our country? Surely, they understand what they are singing and what they are singing it for. America! Do you see? God Bless America!